Monday, December 6, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure不定期連載之十四:細蓉

某日午飯時候,尖沙嘴一雲吞麵店。

他問她:「你想吃甚麼呀?不過你不能吃酸的唷。」

最後女的要了牛肉湯(即牛肉麵走麵),男的要細蓉。

麵來了。他給她一粒雲吞。隨後她又吃了一兩「著」他的麵。

一碗細蓉,只有四粒雲吞,連我都嫌唔夠啦。

一轉眼,細蓉吃完,他說:「不如叫多碗甚麼,好不好?吃甚麼好呢?」

她:「噢,我夠了。」

他:「你不吃,那我也不吃了。」

再過一會她挾了一小片牛肉到他碗裡,他吃下。她又再挾多一片給他。他問:「咦,為什麼你不吃?」

她:「嗯,這些有白色的東西。」

他:「哦,嗰啲係筋嚟嘅。」

完。

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Mis(s)Adventrue 不定期連載之十三:圖窮匕現

不經不覺已轉到新公司半年了,比起舊公司,這裡沒那麼熱鬧,同事數目少很多,趣事無聊事也少得多。

然後有一日… …

我正在翻譯一份悶得要死的新聞稿時,同事甲進來一面狐疑的跟我說:「有人找你 … …

怎麼會呢,我那天根本沒約人。難道是雜誌的廣告sales?於是即管到門口看看是甚麼人。

咦,唔對路。那位阿叔究竟找我幹麼?他捧著一大卷的又是甚麼東西?

然後,阿叔就在我的桌上慢慢攤開那卷東西,原來他是畫畫的,想向我推銷他的作品。他「一輪咀」的說個不停,我好不容易才有機會插咀,向他說:「我唔需要喇,唔該晒。」

怎料他呆一呆,然後將先前的對白重新講多一次。累我再要揾多個位跟他說真的不需要了。

糾纏一番,終於成功送客。同事乙立即走過來問我到底那人是誰,來作甚麼,是否認識我 ... ...

我簡單把事情說了一遍後,便有點不耐煩地說:「都唔知點解放咗佢入嚟。明明就係白撞啦,仲話係搵我!」

同事笑說:「你驚呀?」

當然啦,我平時得罪人多嘛。剛才阿叔慢動作攤開那卷畫時,我腦海的而且確彈了圖窮匕現這四個字出來!

同事聽了後哈哈哈笑個不停。

Monday, November 29, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 12: Star struck

Another normal week night.

Met up with Ms A for dinner in Soho. We ate so much that we had to take a walk before we could sit down again for a drink and more gossips.

We ended up shopping on a full stomach. Not a good idea.

After that, we settled in a small bar and continued bitching about our lives.

I was talking about how a certain someone disappointed me yet again. Five minutes later, that someone appeared in the bar. He was surprised to see me. So was I. I thought he said he was sick? Right, alcohol is the ultimate cure for all sickness.

Later his friend joined us as well. What a talkative guy. In about a drink’s time he probably mentioned the words “my ex” 50 times. And he wasn’t even talking about his relationship problems. How did he do that? Weird.

Soon, Ms A was tired and left. To escape from the talkative guy, I went to join the disappointing guy and his friends’ conversation, only to find yet another talkative guy!

And so one more drink later, they all decided to go to another bar - the bar that I shouldn’t go to. Let’s just say I’ve had enough drinks to throw caution in the wind.

There, my dear disappointing friend was busy socializing with the regulars as if I wasn’t even there. But he does that every time and I am not surprised any more. Once again, I was stuck with talkative guy number one.

Again the words “my ex” appeared too many times. Soon I realized he was trying to let me know who his ex really is. He kept letting off information about the ex.

She’s a pop singer.

Well as he seemed so eager to make me realize who he had dated, of course I didn’t say a thing. I would not give him that “wow your ex is a pop star!” satisfaction.

When I had a quiet moment with the disappointing friend much later, I told him about this. And he said “Yeah, and seems like he cannot get over that till now.” Note that it’s get over THAT as opposed to HER. Hm...

P.S. I didn’t get poisoned at the bar I’m not supposed to go to. But still I should stay away...

P.P.S.  The talkative guy pissed off the resident queen that night. I begin to wonder whether it’s because the queen saw me there or that he’s just always hard to please. But do I care?

P.P.P.S.  The next morning I wore my new skirt. It was a bit too loose! I’ll never buy clothes on a full stomach !

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之十一:阿Ken

經常於尖沙嘴地鐵站(港鐵至啱呀嘛,我知。)出沒的姊妹們,請注意。

1.
於尖沙嘴上班的S小姐某日外出與客戶見面後乘地鐵回公司,於那長而醜的地下通道,發生了以下奇事。

S走在那討厭、暗斜的路上,突然感到後面有人快步向她那邊走近,就在她回頭看時,那人便向她說話。

「小姐你好,我叫阿Ken ... ...」

S一面狐疑的望著他,一面繼續向前走。

那男的並未完成任務,唯有死跟:「我唔係sell嘢架!我係XX  Talent Communications…」

唔講由自可,S 即時還以凌厲的眼神。

「不如我俾張卡... ...」

不知S的眼神是否真的那麼厲害,阿Ken的那個片字還未說出口就已經吞了下去。

2.
一個星期之後,S約了P小姐HH。從銅鑼灣過來的P說剛才地鐵站無喇喇有人截住她。原來又係阿Ken!

結論 / 猜測
a.  S和P貌似恨做model的無知女子

b. 阿Ken 真的是要找model,不過唔係o靚模,而係中年女行政人員look的

c. 阿Ken 真的是要找model,仲要係o靚模,不過一見到S同P的中女樣貌,嚇親之餘,唯有立即掉頭走

Monday, September 27, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 10: barred from the bar


Girl B was smiling when she saw boy A. But as she saw girl S entered the bar after him, her face froze. But for boy A, it didn’t matter. He went over and talked to her and other friends as usual. Then it got too noisy at the bar and so boy A and girl S decided to go somewhere else.  

A few hours, several bars and some drinks later, boy A and girl S were back at that bar. Things seemed all right. Boy A was talking to his friends while girl S talked nonchalantly with her new acquaintances at the other end of the bar. Soon girl S walked over to boy A and before she knew it, girl B came and shouted at him. She needed a word. Girl S was shocked and thought, “Oh dear, I shouldn't be here.”

The two went out.

Girl S felt the cold stare from certain regulars at the bar and didn’t know what she should do. In the end, she followed everyone to another club. On the way, they saw the two were still “having a word” on the street.

At that dark and noisy club, girl S couldn’t contain herself and started sobbing, then crying. She didn’t want to go home and yet she knew it was kind of stupid staying there. Someone came over to try and calm her down. But it was useless, all she wanted to see was him.

Eventually he came. But she didn’t even know what to say to him anymore. 


“Is that my fault?” she asked him.

“No.”

“What have I done?”

“Nothing.”
   
****     ****     ****
   
A couple of days later, girl S went to see boy A as he was getting started with his work. As they were chatting, someone came in and guess what, it’s girl B. 

 She said hi to him and then stormed out.

 The two of them were actually quite calm this time, albeit a little ill at ease. 

 For boy A, things probably will stay the same, if not worse.

 For girl S, things probably won’t change either, except that she won’t be going to that bar again for fear of getting poisoned or screamed at or stared at by people whom she doesn’t even know.

 For girl B, things will stay the same too. Because, if boy A doesn’t change, what else could these girls do?   

Monday, August 16, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 9: The boring girl

The night got off to a bad start.

I was meant to meet the girls in Soho for dinner. Instead of walking all the way up from Central, I took a bus to Caine Road and walked down hill, in my 4-inch heels. Suddenly my legs went jelly and I tripped. Not a good sight. Luckily it was one of the quieter roads in the area and not many people saw me.

After the dinner, I dragged one of the girls to another bar for one more drink while I waited for Mr A to finish work and join me. As us two girls were busy bitching about our lives, the guy at the end of bar kept talking to us. He was a bit drunk and we tried our best to be polite and gave a nod or an a-ha here and there. It was obviously not good enough for him and he came over and sat next to me.

Would you like to come home with me? My place is just nearby and its very comfortable.

Wow, that was very direct. Thanks but no, thanks.

You know, Im better than most people.

I was so tempted to ask how did he find out but I bit my tongue.

And I play music too.

I hope he didnt mean playing music while doing it...

By this time I must had said enough nos and he finally stopped trying. And so we could continue our girl talk.

A minute later, the guy stood up and yelled at the bar manager, who had been watching this funny scene over at the bar with another customer.

OK, Im leaving. This place is boring. These people are boring. And Im not paying for this boring drink!

The bar manager found it quite amusing and I guess the guy is a regular so by the third time he said the bar was really boring, the manager just went, Yeah, OK, you dont need to pay for the drink.

Shortly after this scene, A finally made his appearance and my girl friend soon left. While he was busy talking to some other friends at the other side of the bar, the guy who had been sitting at the bar and watched all the previous drama started talking to me.

Hey boring girl, do you want to play Backgammon?

Er, no.

Why?

Because Im boring.

This boring conversation dragged on for a bit longer than I wanted.

Eventually A returned. The guy then asked A if I was his girlfriend.

Funny you should ask that, I thought.

No, we both said.

The rest of the night was a bit hazy. I managed to piss off the resident queen there without knowing why (and how). And then we were off to Wan Chai for a few more drinks. Came back to that little bar afterwards for more. By the time we left those crazy party people behind, the sun was rising.

What a night for a boring girl like me!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之八:n 年前的東區走廊奇遇記

昨晚乘車途經東區走廊,突然想起數年前發生的一樁趣事。

某日放工後,與我原本想與當晚上機的 來個 happy hour。由於 尚未執拾行李,我們便移船就磡,到她家 HH,好讓她一邊收拾行李,一邊飲酒談天。

轉眼便要出發了。

一行三人上了的士。「中環機鐵站,唔該!」

上車後我們繼續說過不停。就在東區走廊全速前進之際,車上四人突然感到有點不妥。

我說:「司機,係咪爆呔呀?」

... ...

幸好就在不遠有個安全位置可以停車。由於S要「趕飛機」,我們三人七嘴八舌地「咁點算呀?」「司機快啲 call 台叫部車俾我哋啦」「落車睇吓截唔截到吉車」「使唔使報警呀?」

說時遲,那時快,as if on cue,騎著鐵馬的警察哥哥飄然而至。聽過我們簡述事發經過後,警察哥哥便輕鬆地替我們截了另一輛的士。

上車後,我們不禁笑個不停,說剛才的司機肯定比我們更驚慌。

終於安全到達機鐵站,成功 check-in回家去,而我和 則當然要來多杯,定定驚。

But that's not the end of the story.

送走 後,我也打道回府。由 IFC 到中環街市巴士站短短數分鐘路程,竟然先後碰上舊情人一號二號一號趕船返家會女友,二號與女友一同乘巴士(沒錯,係和我同一架巴士)回家 ... ...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之七:明知山有虎

今期的標題有點牽強。純粹因為今日大年初一,決意在虎年狐假虎威一番。
   
話說那位屬於海洋公園的朋友仔,最近又做了令我非常非常不快的事,令我覺得真的需要劃清界線。
   
傷心,當然。
   
於是某日收工後與友人 happy hour,企圖掃走不快情緒。酒過三巡,聽了朋友的意見、分析,以及逗我開心的笑話,心情已經好了點。亦是時候回家了。
   
朋友搭地鐵,我則往相反方向乘搭巴士。差不多行至巴士站,才醒起要增值八達通,便掉頭往便利店去。
   
怎料 ... ...
   
行不到十步。
  
就在街角碰到他。
   
怎麼又一次突如其來的碰到他?
   
沒錯,他的公司就在附近。但那是他的上班時間嘛,他怎麼可能在街上出現?
   
難道因為他,我便不能再在灣仔、中上環一帶出現?
   
我想,還是快點送他回海洋公園吧。這樣的奇珍異獸,觀賞價值大於實用價值。
   
然而,明知山有虎。那夜跟他談了一會,又令我 ... ...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Mis(s)Aventure, trial and tribulation 6: une aventure la plus conne

I’ve been waiting for that day. We have planned to go to this show for a couple of months now. At first he’s not even sure if he’ll be able to make it but one thing led to another, we’re all set… 
  
We were supposed to meet up and have dinner before going. I was getting ready when I got his text. “Don’t think I’ll have dinner. Sorry. Let’s meet at 7.15”. 
  
Fine. 
  
Actually I’ve sensed that he’s keeping a distance (again) for a couple of weeks already. 
  
Typical. 
  
On the train ride, feeling lonely and sad, I kept silent and was lost in my thoughts. He stroked my arm gently. Suddenly I remembered I have this mole on my arm. Curiously, it’s in the shape of Australia. It has faded with time and you can hardly see it now. I almost forgot about this totally. 
  
Is it time for our MissAdventure to fade out? 
  
p.s. sorry there’s no punch line in this edition of Mis(s)Adventure. Just not in the right mood today…

Friday, February 5, 2010

The birth of Mis(s)Adventure

Lately I’ve been feeling the blues which isn’t very me. So a dear friend J said I should try and do something fun, something I enjoy so I could keep my mind off the things and persons that don’t really deserve all my time and energy.
  
The two of us talked about a million things and suddenly J said, “Why don’t you write something?”
  
“Well, writing is part of my job. I don’t always find it inspiring or interesting...”
  
“But you got all these funny stories about those crazy people you see.”
  
That’s true though. In fact some of these silly encounters were already in my other blog.
  
Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之一:一般見識
Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之二:一個電話 | Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 2: a phone call
Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之三: What have I done to deserve this
Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之四: Why are you speaking in Mandarin?
Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之五:新年快樂 | Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 5: Happy New Year
    
And now it seems the right time to give more space to Mis(s)Adventure.
  
P.S. This is also a good excuse for me to go out party more often ;p