Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之十六：咩呀？孭你好冇？

一個風和日麗的下午，三女一男悠閒地吃午餐，說這說那。

忽爾看到鄰桌外籍爸爸和女兒玩騎膊馬，朋友G便說：「哈，其實如果有個男人肯咁同我玩都幾幸福喎。」

我跟另外兩位女友K及L不禁哈哈大笑，並道：「吓？叠羅漢？乜原來你好雜耍架？」

G正色道：「你哋唔覺得咁好親暱咩？孭你喎？你話有冇人咁輕易肯孭你先？」

正當K、L二人繼續笑個不停的時候，我卻靜下來。

「有呀，不過我冇俾佢孭到囉。」

***        ***        ***

那是年多兩年前的事吧。

我們約好去看concert。那個下午我還有閒情逸致去shopping，準備以rock chic姿態去看show。回家變身然後興奮出門與他會合。怎料還未到達，便已後悔，我怎能穿著這對四吋多的鞋站一整晚呢？

他看到我也忍不住問我同一條問題。

我只有扮cool說沒事，我慣了。

Concert完了，我們往中環喝東西。那時我已經又累又餓，不過死要扮型的我，當然繼續死撐。

終於還是跟他說很累，叫他行慢一點。他也没說甚麼，稍稍放慢了腳步。然後，落樓梯那刻，他轉過頭來，說了句甚麼。我聽不清楚，便問：「咩呀？」

「要不要我孭你呀？」

那一刻我覺得很騎呢，便說不用了，反正就快到了。

***        ***        ***

聽至此，K及G異口同聲問：「家陣係咪好後悔呢？」

仲使問嘅！

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 15: mystery solved

7:15am.

My phone was ringing.

“Who the feck calls at 7:15?” I cursed and then I saw it’s a blocked number. I ignored the call and went back to sleep. Then the phone beeped. This time I got a text message.

Hm... I’ve seen this very same text before. It’s not a friendly message at all and had something to do with the guy who’s now next to me.

“Wow, what have you done this time?” I said as I passed the phone to the guy.

Apparently he didn’t know why the mysterious person is sending the same message almost a year after. And so we tried to get back to sleep again.

Suddenly he asked to read the message again.

“Oh, so it was her!” he said angrily.

“What? Who?”

It’s the girl from THE bar. You know, the bar I shouldn’t set foot to and yet I ended up going there again the night before.

I suppose my being in her “territory” was enough to trigger her to do such weird thing and blow her cover by using her own phone number this time.

The guy was really pissed off, thinking he’s been betrayed by someone he trusts.

She also called the guy a few times and left messages to ask him to call back. “Crazy. She’s the one asking me to just get out of the bar last night! And now she wants to speak to me!”

Oh, so that’s why he was leaving the bar all of a sudden. Hm...

I said nothing. I can understand that she is upset. To her, I’m probably the evil. To me, we’re just the same. Why get angry? And to him…

“I’m not going to that bar again!” he said. “Well I mean I’ll still go there but won’t be talking to her.”

I was like, whatever. I’ll wait and see how long he can stand not talking to her.

So that mystery was solved. But still a lot of old questions were left unanswered.

Never mind.

Mis(s)Adventure不定期連載之十四：細蓉

某日午飯時候，尖沙嘴一雲吞麵店。

他問她：「你想吃甚麼呀？不過你不能吃酸的唷。」

最後女的要了牛肉湯（即牛肉麵走麵），男的要細蓉。

麵來了。他給她一粒雲吞。隨後她又吃了一兩「著」他的麵。

一碗細蓉，只有四粒雲吞，連我都嫌唔夠啦。

一轉眼，細蓉吃完，他說：「不如叫多碗甚麼，好不好？吃甚麼好呢？」

她：「噢，我夠了。」

他：「你不吃，那我也不吃了。」

再過一會她挾了一小片牛肉到他碗裡，他吃下。她又再挾多一片給他。他問：「咦，為什麼你不吃？」

她：「嗯，這些有白色的東西。」

他：「哦，嗰啲係筋嚟嘅。」

完。

Mis(s)Adventrue 不定期連載之十三：圖窮匕現

不經不覺已轉到新公司半年了，比起舊公司，這裡沒那麼熱鬧，同事數目少很多，趣事無聊事也少得多。

然後有一日… …

我正在翻譯一份悶得要死的新聞稿時，同事甲進來一面狐疑的跟我說：「有人找你 … …」

怎麼會呢，我那天根本沒約人。難道是雜誌的廣告sales？於是即管到門口看看是甚麼人。

咦，唔對路。那位阿叔究竟找我幹麼？他捧著一大卷的又是甚麼東西？

然後，阿叔就在我的桌上慢慢攤開那卷東西，原來他是畫畫的，想向我推銷他的作品。他「一輪咀」的說個不停，我好不容易才有機會插咀，向他說：「我唔需要喇，唔該晒。」

怎料他呆一呆，然後將先前的對白重新講多一次。累我再要揾多個位跟他說真的不需要了。

糾纏一番，終於成功送客。同事乙立即走過來問我到底那人是誰，來作甚麼，是否認識我 ... ...

我簡單把事情說了一遍後，便有點不耐煩地說：「都唔知點解放咗佢入嚟。明明就係白撞啦，仲話係搵我！」

同事笑說：「你驚呀？」

當然啦，我平時得罪人多嘛。剛才阿叔慢動作攤開那卷畫時，我腦海的而且確彈了圖窮匕現這四個字出來！

同事聽了後哈哈哈笑個不停。

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 12: Star struck

Another normal week night.

Met up with Ms A for dinner in Soho. We ate so much that we had to take a walk before we could sit down again for a drink and more gossips.

We ended up shopping on a full stomach. Not a good idea.

After that, we settled in a small bar and continued bitching about our lives.

I was talking about how a certain someone disappointed me yet again. Five minutes later, that someone appeared in the bar. He was surprised to see me. So was I. I thought he said he was sick? Right, alcohol is the ultimate cure for all sickness.

Later his friend joined us as well. What a talkative guy. In about a drink’s time he probably mentioned the words “my ex” 50 times. And he wasn’t even talking about his relationship problems. How did he do that? Weird.

Soon, Ms A was tired and left. To escape from the talkative guy, I went to join the disappointing guy and his friends’ conversation, only to find yet another talkative guy!

And so one more drink later, they all decided to go to another bar - the bar that I shouldn’t go to. Let’s just say I’ve had enough drinks to throw caution in the wind.

There, my dear disappointing friend was busy socializing with the regulars as if I wasn’t even there. But he does that every time and I am not surprised any more. Once again, I was stuck with talkative guy number one.

Again the words “my ex” appeared too many times. Soon I realized he was trying to let me know who his ex really is. He kept letting off information about the ex.

She’s a pop singer.

Well as he seemed so eager to make me realize who he had dated, of course I didn’t say a thing. I would not give him that “wow your ex is a pop star!” satisfaction.

When I had a quiet moment with the disappointing friend much later, I told him about this. And he said “Yeah, and seems like he cannot get over that till now.” Note that it’s get over THAT as opposed to HER. Hm...

P.S. I didn’t get poisoned at the bar I’m not supposed to go to. But still I should stay away...

P.P.S.  The talkative guy pissed off the resident queen that night. I begin to wonder whether it’s because the queen saw me there or that he’s just always hard to please. But do I care?

P.P.P.S.  The next morning I wore my new skirt. It was a bit too loose! I’ll never buy clothes on a full stomach !

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之十一：阿Ken

經常於尖沙嘴地鐵站（港鐵至啱呀嘛，我知。）出沒的姊妹們，請注意。

1.
於尖沙嘴上班的S小姐某日外出與客戶見面後乘地鐵回公司，於那長而醜的地下通道，發生了以下奇事。

S走在那討厭、暗斜的路上，突然感到後面有人快步向她那邊走近，就在她回頭看時，那人便向她說話。

「小姐你好，我叫阿Ken ... ...」

S一面狐疑的望著他，一面繼續向前走。

那男的並未完成任務，唯有死跟：「我唔係sell嘢架！我係XX  Talent Communications…」

唔講由自可，S 即時還以凌厲的眼神。

「不如我俾張卡... ...」

不知S的眼神是否真的那麼厲害，阿Ken的那個片字還未說出口就已經吞了下去。

2.
一個星期之後，S約了P小姐HH。從銅鑼灣過來的P說剛才地鐵站無喇喇有人截住她。原來又係阿Ken！

結論 / 猜測
a.  S和P貌似恨做model的無知女子

b. 阿Ken 真的是要找model，不過唔係o靚模，而係中年女行政人員look的

c. 阿Ken 真的是要找model，仲要係o靚模，不過一見到S同P的中女樣貌，嚇親之餘，唯有立即掉頭走

Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 10: barred from the bar

Girl B was smiling when she saw boy A. But as she saw girl S entered the bar after him, her face froze. But for boy A, it didn’t matter. He went over and talked to her and other friends as usual. Then it got too noisy at the bar and so boy A and girl S decided to go somewhere else.  

A few hours, several bars and some drinks later, boy A and girl S were back at that bar. Things seemed all right. Boy A was talking to his friends while girl S talked nonchalantly with her new acquaintances at the other end of the bar. Soon girl S walked over to boy A and before she knew it, girl B came and shouted at him. She needed a word. Girl S was shocked and thought, “Oh dear, I shouldn't be here.”

The two went out.

Girl S felt the cold stare from certain regulars at the bar and didn’t know what she should do. In the end, she followed everyone to another club. On the way, they saw the two were still “having a word” on the street.

At that dark and noisy club, girl S couldn’t contain herself and started sobbing, then crying. She didn’t want to go home and yet she knew it was kind of stupid staying there. Someone came over to try and calm her down. But it was useless, all she wanted to see was him.

Eventually he came. But she didn’t even know what to say to him anymore. 


“Is that my fault?” she asked him.

“No.”

“What have I done?”

“Nothing.”
   

****     ****     ****

   
A couple of days later, girl S went to see boy A as he was getting started with his work. As they were chatting, someone came in and guess what, it’s girl B. 

 She said hi to him and then stormed out.

 The two of them were actually quite calm this time, albeit a little ill at ease. 

 For boy A, things probably will stay the same, if not worse.

 For girl S, things probably won’t change either, except that she won’t be going to that bar again for fear of getting poisoned or screamed at or stared at by people whom she doesn’t even know.

 For girl B, things will stay the same too. Because, if boy A doesn’t change, what else could these girls do?